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Spokane, Washington, is nearly perfect for most people, but Jack Fitzpatrick is not one of them. Hours after graduation and armed with his final paycheck from his nemesis, Mrs, Pohlkiss, Jack heads for Southern California determined to prove that money does buy happiness. Thanks to a lucky run-in with a talent agent a few weeks earlier, Jack has loftier (and more lucrative) dreams than minimum wage in the basement of Nordstrom's. But once there, he learns that lofty dreams are a dime a dozen in the City of Angels. Broke, barely scraping by, and hating his life as a temp, L.A. is definitely not what Jack expected. But that doesn't mean he is going to lay down and give up--not yet. After reading “Best Paying Jobs of 1987” in Newsweek magazine, he decides to go after the only one he thinks he has a shot at: institutional bond broker. Once frustrated that his dazzling lack of experience keeps getting in the way, Jack is ecstatic to land a job at Freedom Capital, a no-name firm with a hire anybody mentality. Pumped to be on his way to his first few million, Jack eagerly engages in the challenged ethics of his new employer. When a series of innocent events lands him in prison, he’s sure things can’t get any worse. He would be wrong. Funny, scathing and over-the-top, "Freaks I've Met" is an adventure so unlike any other, it must be totally true.
- Sales Rank: #142879 in Books
- Brand: Jans Donald Henry
- Published on: 2015-05-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .52" w x 6.00" l, .69 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
- Freaks I ve Met
From Kirkus Reviews
A Spokane college graduate searches for wealth and fame in LA but finds only a string of dead-end jobs and outlandish individuals in Jans’ witty debut drama. In 1987, Jack Fitzpatrick’s plans to be rich and famous are off to a good start. Beverly Hills talent agent Alain Michaels tells Jack that he can find him work as a model in California. But when the modeling gig doesn’t pan out, Jack’s more determined than ever to make it on his own instead of returning to Spokane. He stays with a friend and runs through a few temp jobs, finally finding success as a bond broker. Jack makes good money at bond firm Freedom Capital Markets, but he soon realizes that he wants to share it with someone.The author’s Bukowski-esque tale has an ordinary protagonist immersed in extraordinary circumstances. Jack’s escape from his Spokane roots, for instance, is sublimely epitomized by Mrs. Pohlkiss, an affluent neighbor who looks down on him and who’s immediately on his mind at the slightest sign of failure. Likewise, Jack, while certainly not naïve, is faced with obstacles he’s never considered—complacency or boredom with a job and a revolving door of co-workers, some of them friends who leave too soon and a shady few who are considerably less friendly. Jack’s nonchalant narration manages to take the bite out of the story’s darker bits, like the protagonist’s eventual arrest and incarceration, as well as the toilet humor. Other characters, too, have their comic moments: Noah’s wife, a millionaire by inheritance, still demands that her husband get a job. Jans wisely saves details about Jack’s dog until later in the story. Jack’s goal continually changes throughout the novel—he wants fame, success, and maybe even a wife—but what he truly craves is finally answered in a satisfying coda that’s both over-the-top and a little endearing. An engrossing but tongue-in-cheek drama that, even at its most dramatic, will leave readers smiling
Review
An engrossing but tongue-in-cheek drama that, even at its most dramatic, will leave readers smiling---Kirkus Reviews
In Freaks I’ve Met, Donald Jans delivers a riotous bromance centering a recent college graduate with a heart for, and potentially even of, gold. Irreverent prose and wild situations make for entertaining reading in a novel that, despite the unapologetic vices of its narrator, works its way toward a revelation.
All twentysomething Jack wants is out of Spokane, but he’ll take a fortune and riches with his escape if they’re available. Chasing promises from a sleazy modeling agent, he winds up in Los Angeles, where dazzling promises dissipate with disappointing speed. But Jack is determined to grab onto some late-eighties wealth, and so charms his way into work as a stockbroker, where morals are always secondary to the sale.
This is a tale replete with sex, substance abuse, dishonesty and people-using, but somehow the narrator, Jack, maintains charm throughout. Jack’s likability is all the more surprising when one considers the situations he gets himself into—landing friends in trouble with their indulgent mothers, unthinkingly rattling off racial stereotypes while dating girls meant to expand his romantic horizons, and flirting with illegality on the trading floor. But even at his most shameless and vulgar, there’s an “aww shucks” quality to Jack’s speech that’s appealing.
Jack cultivates naïveté, seemingly determined to grab ahold of whatever glitters, consequences be damned: “I needed a job like … the stockbroker. He was a pretty cool guy with a huge house and a pool, and he sure seemed to be home an awful lot to enjoy it. I guess that was mostly during his FBI investigation, but still, his job seemed perfect.” Jack’s crash landing can be sensed coming long before the scene for it is set; but it seems Jack knows it’s coming, too, and is resigned to enjoying the ride for as long as it lasts.
The comedic flavor of Freaks I’ve Met is certain to appeal to those who remember the fecklessness of youth with any degree of longing, just as Jack’s comeuppance is likely to serve as a reminder of why such free-wheeling is not always well advised. There’s a degree of warning in this endlessly fun novel that removes it from the realm of strictly guilty pleasures.
There’s so much fun to be had here that readers are unlikely to begrudge Jans a bit of final cheesiness. Freaks I’ve Met is an entertaining, raucous novel with a bit of a lesson at its heart.
Midwest Book Review Freaks I've Met features a college graduate who is tempted into the money-hungry world of finance, only to land in jail, and follows Jack Fitzpatrick in his move from Washington to California in search of riches. While he's on a mission to prove that he can become happy through achieving wealth, Jack finds that life hands him more than one lemon and his job-hopping leads to increasing ethical dilemmas in the process. Freaks I've Met is a satisfying tour de farce that is surprisingly humorous, pointed, and fun as well as a serious, pointed survey of the institutional bond market, based on author Donald Jans' own background in this financial sector. It perfectly captures the dreams of new college grads who might think success is in the palm of their hands, only to field a host of challenges handed down by tough choices about the best ways to live. It's unexpected to discover a sense of fun in bond trading, but Freaks I've Met does a fine job of juxtaposing humor and serious issues; all couched in a lively story.
Foreword Reviews-
Freaks I’ve Met is an entertaining, raucous novel with a bit of a lesson at its heart.
In Freaks I’ve Met, Donald Jans delivers a riotous bromance centering a recent college graduate with a heart for, and potentially even of, gold. Irreverent prose and wild situations make for entertaining reading in a novel that, despite the unapologetic vices of its narrator, works its way toward a revelation.
All twenty-something Jack wants is out of Spokane, but he’ll take a fortune and riches with his escape if they’re available. Chasing promises from a sleazy modeling agent, he winds up in Los Angeles, where dazzling promises dissipate with disappointing speed. But Jack is determined to grab onto some late-eighties wealth, and so charms his way into work as a stockbroker, where morals are always secondary to the sale.
This is a tale replete with sex, substance abuse, dishonesty and people-using, but somehow the narrator, Jack, maintains charm throughout. Jack’s likability is all the more surprising when one considers the situations he gets himself into—landing friends in trouble with their indulgent mothers, unthinkingly rattling off racial stereotypes while dating girls meant to expand his romantic horizons, and flirting with illegality on the trading floor. But even at his most shameless and vulgar, there’s an “aww shucks” quality to Jack’s speech that’s appealing.
Jack cultivates naiveté, seemingly determined to grab ahold of whatever glitters, consequences be damned: “I needed a job like … the stockbroker. He was a pretty cool guy with a huge house and a pool, and he sure seemed to be home an awful lot to enjoy it. I guess that was mostly during his FBI investigation, but still, his job seemed perfect.” Jack’s crash landing can be sensed coming long before the scene for it is set; but it seems Jack knows it’s coming, too, and is resigned to enjoying the ride for as long as it lasts.
The comedic flavor of Freaks I’ve Met is certain to appeal to those who remember the fecklessness of youth with any degree of longing, just as Jack’s comeuppance is likely to serve as a reminder of why such free-wheeling is not always well advised. There’s a degree of warning in this endlessly fun novel that removes it from the realm of strictly guilty pleasures.
There’s so much fun to be had here that readers are unlikely to begrudge Jans a bit of final cheesiness. Freaks I’ve Met is an entertaining, raucous novel with a bit of a lesson at its heart.
About the Author
Chartered Financial Analyst and Gonzaga University alumnus--survived more than twenty years in the instituional bond market and encounters with all kinds of freaks. The author of several screenplays, he is currently working on his second novel. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his two children.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious!
By muffiemae
I wish I could give this book 10 stars! It was hilarious and insightful, and the author no doubt drew from his own experience in the bond market. The book could have a subtitle "Expose of the Bond Market." (And all the stock brokers and financial finaglers on Wall Street are crooks without a conscience as well.)
Great metaphors had me laughing out loud. And it's quite an education for those who are unfamiliar with how the bond/stock market really works. Do read this book!
Last but not least, there were NO grammatical errors. Big congratulations to the author! (Well, there was one but it was in a quotation, and it's the way most people "talk.")
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Enjoyed this book
By From Missouri
Enjoyed this book. Follows the main character in the first few years of life after college, an adjustment period for sure and brought back some memories. Chapters are relatively short, a few pages, so goes at a pretty fast clip. The author was in the investment business for some years and if you're at all familiar with that industry you will recognize some of the 'characters' - not specific people but classic stereotypes. If you've spent some time in the biz yourself you will have met most of these folks, I promise. I recommend this book, it's a good, fun, and entertaining read.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I recognized people like those he encountered and sometimes wished I could have ...
By DL Brush
Anyone looking for book which will make you laugh, think and identify with a charming protagonist, then this book should definitely top your list! I'm not a 20-something young man--never have been, never will be--and know next to nothing about the financial world, yet I could identify with the protagonist, Jack. I could laugh and shake my head along with him at the freaks he met along his journey to prove himself. I recognized people like those he encountered and sometimes wished I could have reacted with such wit to them. In fact, more than once, I laughed out loud at the situations he found, or more often than not, put himself in.
Jans' book made me think, as well as laugh. It gave me a glimpse into the ins and outs of high stakes trading, the ramifications of the greed of the late 1980s at both a personal and societal level. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a cautionary tale filled with angst and ire, nor does it ever preach. It gave a human face, though, to the people involved at the very outside of a complex web. No matter what things I might have found off putting about Jack, as a reader, I couldn't help but root for him.
Finally, Freaks I've Met, brought me a character that I cared about. Jack could easily have been a stock character or a morally bankrupt anti-hero, but Donald Jans gave me something more. He created a real person, a mostly likable person, with enough depth for readers to care about him, but not so much as to bog the narrative down. I wasn't a young man, but I was young (long, long ago) and could identify with the hope and exasperation, the fear and the fun, the independence so yearned for and the dependence on others young folks are loathe to admit.
The narrative wrapped things up well enough with one of the most hilarious endings I've ever read. (I seriously had to put the book down for a minute to gather myself before I could continue. And if some of you read the ending first--shame on you but you will genuinely rob yourself. So don't. Just don't.) I felt good for Jack at the end; I really did. But you know what? I really wish he wasn't a fictional character because I wouldn't mind if he dropped me a line to let me know how it's going and if he's met any more freaks.
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